David Beckham cleared of causing offence with H&M ads

In a victory for common sense (and in the Battle of the Bulge) the Advertising Standards Agency have rejected claims that pictures of a be-quiffed David Beckham modelling his bodywear range for H&M were offensive and unsuitable for children to see, announcing that the pics were ‘unlikely to cause serious or widespread offence’.

The ruling went on to say that it deemed the poses and facial expressions of Becks ‘mildly sexual at most’ though it did acknowledge that some viewers (those who aren’t that partial to ink one suspects) might find the images ‘distasteful’.

I can only assume the threeyes three – people who complained included the boss of a rival firm and two pensioners in possession of futuristic X-ray specs. Anyway, panic over.

David Beckham gives good hair

As someone who sported his own quiff many years ago (yes, there was a time when I had hair) I’m insanely jealous of the height David Beckham’s achieved with his in these pics taken by Doug Inglish for the new issue of Men’s Health. In my book, the quiff (the ultimate salon-produced penis substitute) is still the greatest male hairstyle ever and this one, styled beautifully by Ken Paves, is sublime. There’s much to envy about Beckham – the wealth, the body, the cultural influence –  but it’s his hair (that ever-so-versatile hair) that impresses me the most. Beautiful game? Beautiful mane more like.